A site that’s been circulating widely around the ‘net the last few weeks has been Stuff White People Like. Someone sent it to me about a month ago, and I immediately bookmarked it, intending to post to it but eventually forgetting about it. I’ve seen it mentioned elsewhere a few times lately, so I figured I’d post it up today. Funny stuff there. I actually spent a solid two hours yesterday The more you read the more you will be amazed by the accuracy of this statement... That website is simply awesome, apparently stereotyping white people works…who knew! Be sure to check the comments section too, some very creative lines coming up...
My favorites include:
White people love to pass, it’s no secret. In basketball, it’s kind of a must so that white guys can carve out a niche and guarantee acceptance on a team (From Pete Maravich to Larry Bird to John Stockton, Scott Skiles, Jason Kidd, Steve Nash...) One explanation is that white people still feel guilty over slavery, colonialism, and the crusades so passing is a way to make up for it. But more importantly, it makes them feel good to help others.
White people love to be outside. But not everyone knows that another thing they like to do is make people feel bad for wanting to watch sports on TV or play videogames. Usually, they will see that you are preparing to enjoy your life and they will say “hey, lets go for a hike in the park,” and most people will say “hey, thanks but I’ve been working all week and I’m really excited about watching this game,” and then they will respond “don’t be a lump on the couch, you’re wasting your life away, etc…” If you ignore them, they will eventually go away.
95% of white males have at one point in their lives, experienced yellow fever. Many factors have contributed to this phenomenon such as guilt from head taxes, internment camps, dropping the Nuclear bomb and the Viet Nam War . This exchange works both ways as asian girls have a tendency to go for white guys. Another factor that draws white guys to asian women is that white women are jealous of them.Take for instance the fact that asian women well into their 30s and 40s retain teen / college girl looks without the help of botox, yoga or a trendy diet (future posts). Asian women also avoid key white women characteristics such as having a mid life crisis, divorce, and hobbies that don’t involve taking care of the children. Should white guy / asian girl marry, they produce hybirds that are aestically pleasing, but are very annoying. This practice is also a means by which white people can catch up to the asian peoples in the population race, as most of the hybirds often act white rather than asian.
The number one reason why white people like not having a TV is so that they can tell you that they don’t have a TV. It is effective in making other white people feel bad, and making themselves feel good about their life and life choices.
Plain and simple, white people don’t just like Apple, they love and need Apple to operate. Apple products tell the world you are creative and unique. When you ask white people about Mac’s they will say “oh, it’s so much better than Windows,” “it’s just easier to use,” “they are so cutting edge,” and so forth. What’s amazing is that white people NEED to meet people who use Windows to justify themselves spending an extra $500 for a pretty looking machine. Knowledge of Apple products can be useful in a number of social situations. If you see a white person with a Mac, an easy way to approach them is to say “Is that a Powerbook? What OS do you have?” They will happily start talking to you, after the requisite five minutes, you can invite them to an 80s night.
- (Insert BIG applause): Knowing What's best for Poor People...
Honorable mention: Farmers Markets, Non-profit organizations, Yoga, Snowboarding, Lawyers, Bottles of Water, Arts Degrees, Study Abroad, Standing Still at Concerts....more to come!!!
I sure managed to save the best for last...
THE 10 RAP SONGS WHITE PEOPLE LOVE (to dance):
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